Shit Happens

Remember a few weeks ago when I posted that delightful video about the wonders of our downstairs toilet? Remember that disgusting black sewer water that filled our toilet and poisoned our nostrils if you stood too close? Remember how we thought it was bad then!?

Well, let's just say, shit hit the fan.

Let me just say that this did not happen due to negligence on our part. We were responsible. We called the plumber. We did the work! And after about 5 different people came in to look at it told us that, yes, we did have a plumbing problem (duh), none of them seemed to be able to fix it. Thank you. For doing absolutely nothing.

So, because we are in the process of moving out and we are doing just fine with using the two bathrooms upstairs, we decided to cut our losses and just avoid the money pit, that is the downstairs bathroom, until we all left dodging a major shit bullet. Plus, as long as we kept the door closed, the smell wasn't that bad...

(In case you haven't caught on yet, I'm using far more expletives in this post than usual because... well... I can. And because "shit" has become a bit of a catch phrase around these parts that last couple days).

This whole Avoiding the Situation Plan was working out swimmingly until Wednesday. It was about 11:00pm when we all noticed that terribly familiar stench making its way into our living room. We'd been plugging our noses and complaining for about an hour when I finally decided to step into a major shit storm and see what was up. So, I said a little prayer and opened the door. That's when I saw that disgusting black water starting to make its way from the toilet to the floor. Disgusting. Instead of going in at that moment and turning off the water, we decided to just go to bed and call the plumber first thing the next morning. This was our first mistake.

The next day, we did indeed call the plumber, the one who had supposedly fixed it a couple weeks earlier, to get his butt over to our house to shut this shit down. Literally, seconds after hanging up the phone with him, I was walking to my room when I noticed a large, black, stinky pool of SHIT. Leaking from the bathroom. Out into the hallway. All over our floor.

I screamed.

I don't think you understand how gross it was.

Everyone came over and we had about a 2 minute panic where we all were total girls. And then all of the Don Patton training for the last 20 years kicked in. Turn off the water. But how? All of the shit is completely covering the floor an inch deep. Shit shit shit! Shit.

Basically, I manned up and put on Claire's pink boots and turned off the water. Like a Boss. Unfortunately, that did nothing to help clean up the mess. The next few hours involved a nice gentlemen from Roto Rooter who was sort of useless to the problem, a bunch of back and forth calls to a cleaning service called Serv Pro who eventually came at 8:30 and stayed until 1:30am. Jujie sleepy.

Here is a short video during the mayhem of discovering that we were in the middle of our Slumdog Millionaire moment.