Wishing

This Christmas, my list is small. But, it is strategic and thorough. I think I've reached the stage in my life where I am finally starting to understand the genius behind the old saying "Less is more." And the beauty of it all is that each of you are totally more than welcome to buy any of the items for me. Seriously! It won't make me mad, like, at all! 

Ok. So, let's get down to business:

Typewriter. We've talked about this before. This gift has  total tear potential. That's right. Tears of iconic Christmas for the books proportions. But, it has got to be right. Cool looking and in working condition. Consider this one, perhaps? 

Kinfolk Magazine Subscription. Call me an annoying hipster if you'd like, but I love, love, love, this magazine. Besides the fact that it would be my dream to work for them in absolutely ANY capacity or to be even the most annoying of flies on the wall for one of their legendary dinner parties, for now I'll  settle for just soaking up the pages of what represents the exciting new generation of print publications. (here)

Moroccan Oil. This stuff is like crack cocaine for my hair. No matter what color is on my head or what the cut may look like, Moroccan Oil never let's me down. And it smells like I'm on vacation. (here)

Yoga Passes. I. Love. Yoga. For some reason that I do not know, I easily forget just how much I love it. Actually- I do know the reason: I'm poor and I can't afford it! But then, when I save my pennies and find myself at the end of a class in Child's Pose and Shavasana, I realize how happy a good sweaty yoga mat can make me. (here)

Denim Vest. Spencer Malinski pulls off a denim vest like nobodies business. Sometimes I borrow it and pretend like I'm as cool as her. And although I know that I'll never quite make it to her level, I'm going to make a real fighting effort with this one from Madewell. (here)

These flats. (mostly because they're named after yours truly) (here)

These pants. Because... they are like... sweats... that you can wear in real life. I mean... what else is there to discuss? (here)

What's on your list this year? 

Salted Caramel Brownies

THIS MUST  HAPPEN TODAY. GET IN MY BELLY. 

Recipe: The Best Salted Caramel Brownies

You'll need:

1 cup (2 sticks) butter

4 1-oz. squares of dark chocolate

2 cups sugar

4 eggs

1 tsp. vanilla extract

1 cup all-purpose flour

1/2 tsp. salt

1/4 cup caramel topping (this is my favorite)

1 tsp. good quality sea salt 

What to do: 

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F and grease a 9x13 inch baking pan.

In a 3-quart saucepan over very low heat, melt butter and chocolate, stirring the mixture constantly. Remove from heat, and stir the sugar into the chocolate. Allow the mixture to cool slightly. 

Beat in the eggs one at a time, mixing well after each, then stir in the vanilla. Combine the flour and 1/2 tsp. salt in a separate bowl, then stir into the chocolate mixture. 

Spread the batter evenly into the prepared pan. Drizzle the caramel atop the batter, and use a knife to swirl over the surface. Sprinkle sea salt over the caramel.

Bake for 30 to 35 minutes. Brownies are done when a toothpick inserted into the center come out clean. Cool in pan on wire rack.

Marketing

I went grocery shopping today (or, "marketing" as I, and everyone else in my family calls it... even though we may get made fun of from time to time...) and when I came home and started unloading all my goods, I noticed something sort of funny. Without even thinking, I started to clear out a shelf in the fridge and in the pantry to put my "Julia" stuff, just like I do at school. It's nice to be home and be able to put as much food in the fridge as I want or to disperse all of my food evenly throughout every single shelf in the freezer instead of a special section just for me. Funny how little weird things like that stick with you.

That's it. Just a funny little thought. 

PS- As much as I love this food storage freedom that comes with being home, I must say that I am now issuing a formal complaint to the other three inhabitants of my home for unlawful thievery in regards to  Oreos which do not belong to them. Whatever little mouse is stealing my double stufs is messing with the extensive Oreo eating schedule and regimen that I have perfectly crafted. BACK OFF! 

Tired

I am going through something that I think I want to share.

Have you ever gone through a time in your life that just seemed harder? And not for a specific reason and nothing that is tangible or terribly hard is going on, but you feel like you're in the weeds? Well, over the last handful of months, I have been feeling awfully dry. Creatively bored, uninspired by what's going on around me, both in school and personally, and I've been finding it quite hard to be motivated by life. 

I think it started this summer. The day in and day out of depending completely on myself (and God) to see things in a positive light through all of the challenges was very difficult-- more than I think I really realize or give credit to even now. The experience of finally being thrown into the industry that I've wanted to be apart of  for the better part of my entire life was overwhelming and it, of course, was totally impossible for it to live up to the expectations that I had custom crafted for so, so many years. The good parts seemed great, but the bad parts surprised me and left me questioning everything (again) about my future and what I want it to look like. When it was all over and I was starting up this school year, I  was already in a place that felt so tired and drained.

It was hard for me to get myself to class, hard for me to pay attention, hard for me to remember what were the things that I loved about fashion-- and writing, for that matter. Finding inspiration and a reason to blog, something that in the past has been such a place of comfort and joy, has been really difficult. Even now that this quarter is over, it is still hard for me to really hit the reset button and a find a fresh start.

I'm struggling with who I am and what I want out of my life-- right now and for the future. But then I am reminded that I don't have any control over that... and so I struggle with that too. This is the sort of questioning that leads to questioning which leads to questioning which brings us back to questioning,  finally resting at the annoying answer of the fact that there simply is no answer. Frustrating.

This sort of thing ends up playing with my mood and my self esteem and how I interact with the people in my life. Even my sleeping has been affected (that fact that I, Julia Patton, am finding it hard to sleep... I think that pretty much sums it all up right there.) I just don't really feel like myself. Since coming home, my sweet mother, in a soft and caring voice, has mentioned a couple of times that I seem sad. And she is right, but when she asks me what is wrong, I don't know what to say. It's just life. And it's just a season. I'm not sure what the future holds, but I know that I am in His hands through it all.

I've been going back and forth with whether or not to blog about these trials because I didn't know what good it would do and, honestly, it's taken me about four days to write this all down, but it  felt like  something that I needed to. Through all of this, it's been difficult to take myself and whatever is going on seriously because I am so extremely blessed in my life and for some people in the world, my worst day would be their very best, but I also don't want to just gloss over an emotion that is real to me. Hopefully that makes sense. 

Haiku #5

Thanks Giving

Pull it out of me

And tell me to be grateful

I'll blush and wonder

Thank you.

Give Thanks

So, I know I'm a little late in the game and most of you won't read this until tomorrow (Friday) and the idea of giving thanks will be soooo over for the next 364 days, but from where I'm sitting, there are still 30 minutes of Thanksgiving left and I am going to celebrate until it is officially done. 

With that being said, homegirl is pretty pooped, so I'm going to make this quick. 

This is what we will call the "Thanksgiving Short List" because goodness knows I could be typing up a list about good things in my life until next year, so let's just hit the VIP's: 

(in no particular order)

• Bird watching
• People watching
• People smiles
• Baby smiles
• My Home(s)
• Foxy Loxy Decaf Mocha
• My Family
• Getting to have really really great and encouraging conversations with my family
• My grandpa's stories
• Gigi's laugh
• The most genuinely kind heart in the entire world of Grandma Bunny
• My legs, for walking and otherwise
• Napping
• The ever-fulfilling need/ability to create
• My friends... all of them... but especially the really really good ones. The kind that fill me up. 
• My dad's compliments
• My mom's hugs
• My sister's patience
• Adventure
• GOD (please re-note the fact that I said that these were in no real order because goodness knows this guy should shoot straight up to the top of the list)
• Cold weather (Ok- more like my kind of cold weather. I'm talking 40s and 50s. Before I start to really complain)
• Chocolate souffle. Namely the one that is still hanging out in my belly (and will soon make a swift transition to my love handles) from earlier this evening. Damn. I am thankful for you.
• A good movie
• Quiet
• And then loud
• Struggle
• Struggle
• Struggle
• Triumph
• Household appliances. Seriously. Unsung heroes. 
• Music
• A perfectly spicy yellow curry
• Vintage dresses with princess seams
• The fact that life is just barely beginning
• When the ocean is sparkly

And with that, I think I'm gonna call it. Where can you go after a sparkly ocean, you know? It's a tough one to follow. I hope all of you are fast asleep in your tryptophane comas, dreaming of Christmas lights and Holiday cookies. 

'Tis officially the season, my friends! 

Slow Roll

People, people, people...

Here I am: Day three of Winter Break.

I suck at blogging lately. For that, I am eternally sorry.

I feel off my groove. Or off my jam. Or I'm out of jam. And the milk is old. You know what I mean?

But, I have heard from my people (Mom, Grandma Bunny and Dionna) and the people have said that blogging while off said rocker or groove or jam or whatever is far better than no blogging at all.

I've only been home for a few days, but I'm already seeing some of my favorite consistencies of my long lost Southern California come out of the woodwork and I couldn't be more jazzed about it.

Average Temperature: 68.
Food: So far ALL Mexican.
Sleep: Whenever, wherever.
Homework: Nonexistent

And on top of all that, I've clocked 1 gelato run, 2 sleepovers, 1 breakfast cupcake, a trip to the movies and like 8,000 other little things that make me the happiest clam in the entire ocean.

Haiku #4

18 Hours:

Road trip, Oh, Road trip

Hustle our little bustles

Up before the sun

Thank you. 

Quarter Full

La la la laaaa it's the last day of the quarter and I do believe that it's worth singing abooouutt!!!

How can you not wake up with a smile on your face and a song in your heart when you know that in about 7 hours this will all be done? Done with critiques and done with fabric swatches and done with all of the 20th century's artistic history (specifically the boy in the first row of 20th century art history who seems to think he is the world's funniest person and wants you to think that as well) and done with micron pens and marker paper and ink quills and ink spills! I don't think it is possible, no matter how little sleep you are running on, to be grumpy this morning. And even though it is POURING (with a capital P) rain here this today, the sun still shines in our little SCAD-tastic hearts!

Oh yes, I am in that good of a mood.

I find myself currently packing and singing and singing and packing and drinking a victory tea (with a extra scoop of sugar) and wearing a bright red sweater. Stevie Wonder understands my joy.

Unnecessary Yawns

I finished the work on my last final last night at 9:30. 

I didn't go to bed until 3:00. 

I woke up at 4:30. 

Something just doesn't seem to add up here. 

A few weeks ago, when with furrowed brow and a large, blank, desk calendar keeping me company at dinner, I was looking down the ramp to the end of the quarter and starting to map out my plan of attack on finals. I was simply giddy to realize that the last few weeks of the year would not be too too intense. One may even dare to describe them as... easy (a word that I would hesitate to say out loud even in a whisper as not to jinx it). But in spite of my suspicions, it proved to be true that this quarters finals were a cinch. My brushes and papers were all packed up relatively early last night (hypothetically speaking, of course-- my desk is obviously really still a mess).

So it was much to my chagrin when I laid my head down at around 11:00, preparing for a celebratory full night of sleep, and found that I could not fall asleep until well after 2:00. The room was too quiet and too nice. It felt like there was something that I was missing. Which, of course, after a thorough quadruple check of the to-do list proved to be untrue. But finally, after counting futures (a fun game that I like to play instead of counting sheep-- why not end the night with a panic attack about the future, I always say) my eyelids finally surrendered. But it didn't last. When 4:30 rolled around, and I found myself wide awake once again, I threw chagrin out the window and employed anger. The room was a different type of quiet, but a sort no less frustrating. I thought that I might get up and make some homemade jam or maybe what's better than starting the morning off with fresh baked chocolate chip cookies? But I didn't have the supplies. So I sat in bed and stewed. Growing more and more tired, but still immune to actual sleep. And when I was laying there, I realized for the first time that I might miss this bed when I go home next week. And then I fell asleep. 

I guess this was just SCAD's way of keeping the playing field even for all students whether you have a lot of work or not and the policy remains that during week 10, you will not sleep. No matter what. 

It has come to this?

Watching Dowton. Eating ice cream. Space heater on blast.

This Saturday night is ballin.

Hair Brained

Ok, guys. I'm about to go to the salon to finally get my hair fixed, and the plan is to go with something that will make my blonde mess a little more palatable, but all week I've been having  little conversatations with myself wondering if I should do something a little... riskier. 

I know that this is a totally stupid idea-- one that inevitably I'll immediately regret-- sort of like that time a week ago when I thought it'd be a good idea to dye my hair bleach blonde.

But, I don't know! These girls all look so awesome and cool, yeah? Or is it just because they're models? I don't know! I sort of feel like taking a walk on the wild side. 

Should I do it!? Speak now!

Haiku #3

Post Election Blues

Hot tea scorched my tongue.

Obama, do you hear that?

This is all your fault. 

Thank you.

Why I like mornings:

America, I love you.

Welp. It's all over. And  unfortunately, it did not swing my way (or, I would argue, that it didn't swing our way... but that's a whole other blog post). So, I'm bummed to say the least.

Last night was suspenseful and emotional and frustrating and then, all of a sudden, the word Ohio flashed up on the screen and then last night was over.

I'm struggling to find the words to describe the disappointment, fear, and anger that I'm feeling without it turning this post into a huge rant, and so I'm just going to write what I keep reminding myself of in my head:

God was not surprised by the outcome of this election. 

He is in control of our country, just as he has been since the day it was created.

Instead of casting negativity, I feel that as an American, it is my duty to be respectful of our President and I'm going to do my best to be supportive of the fact that this is the man that my fellow citizens have chosen to lead our country. ...Lots and lots of prayers. 

I mean... besides completely tearing apart our country financially and making an even greater mess of the one we already had, he didn't really follow through on many of his promises for the first four years, so with any luck he may be as worthless for the next four, yeah? (Sorry, sorry-- it just slipped out. Supportive. Right. Yes.)

I warned Frances and Claire the other day that I might be a in a little bit down in the dumps for the next few days (read: uncontrollable sobs -- I may be sometimes a little overdramatic...). 

As predicted, this morning I was being a little sad sack and so Frances pulled me out from under the wreckage and took me to get pancakes for breakfast. When we got to the restaurant, we sat down by a group of Army men and although Frances wouldn't allow me to ask to take a picture with them, it did make me realize that I am still so lucky and blessed to live in this country. And I can still eat pancakes with my friend. And butter is still delicious and legal (for now). And that's that. 

Election Day

Good morning, friends! In case you've been taking a nap for the past few year or so, today is a very important day in America. It's election day, by golly! 

But not just any old election... the election for, among a handful of other important positions, the President of the United States of America. The President of the United States of America. Wow. What a thing to think about. One man in charge of an entire country-- a country of which, I believe, to be the greatest in the entire world. Can you imagine? What a responsibility. This is a job that can positively and negatively influence such a great number of people. And what's important for me to remember is that these influences can be made no matter what the party affiliation may be.  

This is my very first presidential election to vote in-- something that I have looked forward to nearly my entire life. Full disclosure: I may or may not have gotten a little teary when filling out my absent-tee ballot. What can I say? I am my mother's daughter. And what an honor and privilege it is to be able to vote! To be able to exercise the freedom to have a voice in a political system that affects our everyday lives and to be able to take part in, at its most basic level, a great tradition that our country has passed down since it's inception. 

Although my political views are quite strong and I do my very best to be as educated as I can on the subjects concerning our country and how it pertains to me, I claim to be no expert. And although I am very much my mother's daughter in that, with the right prompting, I can get a little feisty when talking politics, I am going to do my very best to refrain. What I do know is that today is an important day. And, for lack of a better word, it is a colossal waste to not take part in one of the very few duties as  members of this democracy.  And on top of that, I would wager to say that the majority of the reasons one wouldn't turn out on election day comes down to a whole load of excuses that ultimately boil down to apathy and sheer laziness. (Hey-- I said I would do my best to refrain...) So vote! Why in the world wouldn't you want your voice to be heard?

Anyway, no matter what happens today, I'm beginning it and ending it with these verses:

But the plans of the Lord stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations. Psalm 33:11

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by the testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12:2

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11

PS- I am going to be very stressed all day... and nomatter who wins, there will probably be tears... my ballot has been mailed and this whole shebang is out of my hands... but... I am going to wear red underwear for a little extra good luck. 

Charlotte

Some pics from our quick weekend in Charlotte. Fun as always. Thanks, Barnhardts!

Caribou Coffee

See?

Even when we are on vacation, we work. Because we are some pretty serious gals. Homework, homework, homework. It's all we do. ...But, maybe with a little people watching mixed in. Like, for example, watching the man in the sport coat and peach shirt pick his nose and then try and hide it. Or the elderly man who keeps falling asleep while reading the Davinci Code. Or "friends" who are just "grabbing coffee" while each of them are really wondering if it's a date or not. It's definitely a date. She likes him. She wore eyeshadow.

But I'm doing homework.

I promise.

PS- Yes. My hair is still yellow/sunset/weird. I'm on it, ok?

Haiku #2

Charlotte

Something changed the air

Freezing, I'm thrilled to the bone

Charlotte, warm our buns!

Thank you. 

November?

Hi. How are you? I hope your answer is that you are doing very very very well. I hope I hope I hope!

Can you believe that it's November? I can't either. This is finally the part of the year that I can really really rock the sweaters and scarves instead of just forcing them when the temperatures dip from 85 to 76. (That's sort of a widely regarded Savannah trait... "Ooohhhh!!!! 76!!! Fall is here!!!")

No, but really. It's fall. It's 51 degrees out. And there are stale leaves to be crunched with the bootsies that are on my feetsies. And as celebrated as this weeks weather reports were, we are experiencing some technical difficulties with our heat... making... machines....? (What is that called?! Blanking.) We have set the darn thing at well above 75 degrees (to test out whether or not its working), but it doesn't do anything because the temperature in our house has been at a consistent 58. Cozy!

I hate it. I already am a big baby in the winter time, but this is just a whole new level of ridiculous. It needs to be fixed. It has to be fixed. It will be fixed. LANDLORDS, CALL US BACK! (And oh yeah-- my heat/ AC is still busted in my car. There is no relief!)

In the meantime, I'm spending extra time at coffee shops and or any structure that is warmer inside than outside and then this weekend, we are escaping to Charlotte! Yay! I really love it there. Especially with the trees being the way they are right now. Viva Charlotta!

Oooh... Halooween! I almost forgot to mention it. All day I kept forgetting that it was even happening. Halloween on a Wednesday? Confusing. I'm a very hesitant Halloweener (Yeah), but I went for it last weekend with my ladies at a birthday / Halloween party with some friends. But I just couldn't muster up the want-to again last night, so we passed out candy to all the adorable kids in our neighborhood. THE. Cutest. Oh my. My favorites were 1. a little black girl who was dressed as Whitney Houston (so on point) and 2. a boy who was a ghost, old school style -- white sheet and two cut holes for eyes. Can't beat the classics. Unfortunately, we had more visitors than we were expecting and ran out of candy pretty early. So, we turned off all of the lights and closed the blinds so that we didn't waste their precious time (and also so we didn't have to show them our ashamed faces to tell them that we had failed them), but every once and while, we'd get a knock on the door and a very eager "Trick or Treat!" and we had to cower in the kitchen like little babies. We're sorry, Children of Baldwin Park! We are the worst!!!

Anyway.

I think that's it.

But I just really like you guys.

And thanks for reading this. It really means a lot to me. Whatever this blog is or whatever I want it be or whatever it turns into, you guys always take 5 minutes (or, let's be honest... closer to 15... homegirl can ramble) of your day to be a participant in this blog.

AND I LOVE YOU FOR IT.

HAPPY NOVEMBER.