What I'd Rather be Doing

I'm sitting in an endless session of History of Fashion. We've been talking about kirtles and soft soled shoes for far too long.

I'm feeling whiny and all I can think about are the thing I'd rather be doing.

In case it isn't obvious by the title of this post, you should know that I'm about to tell you what exactly I'd "rather be doing."

I want to make sourdough starter. Have you ever done that before? I never have and it's all I've been thinking about since my attempt during Christmas break. Can you imagine the delight? Fresh sourdough bread. Warm out of the oven. I can already hear myself squealing in delight. And then taking a carb indulgence induced nap for weeks.

I want to take pictures of my everyday life like Anna Gawlak. But, in fact, I'd actually like her to take pictures of my life. Looking through her website fools me into thinking that such beautiful photography is effortless. It is not. I have tried. Her photos have such a calming quality of quietness. In my head, I'm thinking about her pictures in comparison to the handful of iPhone pictures I've taken recently and it is painful what an obnoxious, bright pink, ham I can be in contrast to her steady breathed cadence.

Also, Risotto. Risotto. Risotto. I love risotto. Let's make/eat/make/eat/make/eat it every single day.

Chanel

I've watched this video about a dozen times already and I'll probably watch it a dozen more. And so far every time the video finishes, I find my jaw wide open in utter respect and amazement at such a strong dedication to craftsmanship. If you ever have wondered what excited me personally about fashion, watch this video and then you'll see. 

Every bead, every petal... wow. 

Let me repeat: R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

The Winter of the Air

"Sometimes you’re 23 and standing in the kitchen of your house making breakfast and brewing coffee and listening to music that for some reason is really getting to your heart. You’re just standing there thinking about going to work and picking up your dry cleaning. And also more exciting things like books you’re reading and trips you plan on taking and relationships that are springing into existence. Or fading from your memory, which is far less exciting. And suddenly you just don’t feel at home in your skin or in your house and you just want home but “Mom’s” probably wouldn’t feel like home anymore either. There used to be the comfort of a number in your phone and ears that listened everyday and arms that were never for anyone else. But just to calm you down when you started feeling trapped in a five-minute period where nostalgia is too much and thoughts of this person you are feel foreign. When you realize that you’ll never be this young again but this is the first time you’ve ever been this old. When you can’t remember how you got from sixteen to here and all the same feel like sixteen is just as much of a stranger to you now. The song is over. The coffee’s done. You’re going to breathe in and out. You’re going to be fine in about five minutes." 

Woah.

Yeah.

Bring it.

"Say yes and you'll figure it out later."

-Tina Fey

Frances and I set out for Foxy Loxy this morning to achieve one goal: to start and finish writing our cover letters.

I got a latte. Frances got a latte. We found a table. We opened our laptops and 3... 2... 1... Go. 

Two hours later, we proof read each other's first attempts and after a few brush-ups, we hit save and smiled at each other. Our cover letters complete. 

First with the Anthropologie interview earlier this week and then the completion of my cover letter (a major obstacle thus far in my application process) I have made the pleasant and welcomed realization that this year's internship search, although still a bit daunting, is not last year's internship search. The steps towards this summer have already proved so much less overwhelming, so much less intimidating and so much more doable. The circumstances are different. I am different. 

Last summer, when I was in the thick of it, I kept on telling myself that one day I would reap the rewards of such a challenging time. There had been little moments, like times where I could talk confidently about the restaurants in the East Village, or moments when I would be recognized in class for having an experience like the one I did, but nothing yet that I could identify as "worth it."And then today, just like that, in my lap, somewhere between a belated Christmas gift and an early, secret admirer of Valentine's day, here it is, the golden booyah moment of this last summer: A feeling that no matter what internships I do or don't get, I can handle this summer. I can do it. I can do it. I can do it. I'm even sort of smirking as I type those words in a knowing way. I feel that this upcoming summer is like I'm facing an opponent who doesn't quite realize my new found strength, like a Chipotle burrito in front of me that doesn't quite comprehend it's impending fate. I can handle it. 

Post Nap Confusion

Just woke up from a dream where in which someone broke into my house and hot glued red pants to my body. At first I hated it and cried everyday, but in spite of my objections and extreme aversion to the idea, people started to love me in the red jeans and I even became famous for it. Years went by and through many different trials and tribulations, I began to like myself in the red jeans too. Finally, one day, I looked at myself in the mirror and said out loud "Hey, these jeans aren't so bad!" And when I did, they burst into flames and fell off my body. And the dream was over.

BUT WHAT DOES IT MEAN?

Whirlwinded

I know, I know. Bad blogger. I get it. 

Let's just forget one second about how mad you are me for taking so long to post again while you peruse some pictures from the last few weeks of the Winter quarter. And hopefully, by the end, we will have completely forgotten about this whole non-blogging-blogger behavior, huh? 

Look at these cats on the first day of school. Pretty sharp, huh? 

Spencer Malinski kitchen dance party. Beyond typical.

 Whoever said that girls with glasses get more passes... WAS RIIIIGHHHTT!!!! BOOYAH. 

Frances and my very first trip to a REAL LIFE BAR. Abe's, to be more specific. Salt of the earth, I tell ya. Frances wore a bow in her hair. Claire ordered potato vodka. I was almost forced to take a shot. (Almost). We got stared at.  The locals hated us. It was wonderful. 

This weekend was just simply oodles of fun. Hey, Bushka Lifers-- remember my senior collection from high school? Well, as much as I LOVE the shots of all my friends modeling the clothes in high school, they needed a little updating. The amazing Kara Reichart re-shot all of the looks in our backyard and Frances got her twerk on as my beautiful modela. (PS- remember that one time last quarter when Kara was amazing?)

You can see more pics of the shoot right.... here... on my website, which, by the way, is chock full of new goodies if you wanna click around and check it out. 

And then as if Friday's photoshoot wasn't enough fun, Saturday gave it a run for it's money. Dearest Lindsay Giambattista came over and filled our home with the sweet, sweet smells of homemade, family recipe style marinara sauce. And meatballs. Homemade ones. Oh, baby. This girl is Italian, alright. 

Oh. And then we made homemade spaghetti. And eggplant parmesan. And watched the Godfather. Viva Italia, bebe! 

Ok, wait a second. Is Savannah pretty or what? 

This little lug nut was giving me good luck hugs this morning before I was headed to class and then to a  very important... interview! ...for an internship! ...with Anthropologie! ...that went really well! Oh. Weird. Did I forget to mention that? Hmmm... must've slipped my mind! Or maybe I've been working on my portfolio 28 hours a day for the last week keeping me from doing anything but formatting pictures and InDesign pages. 

Anywhoooo, I don't know what's going to happen with that little Anthro situation, but I felt like the interview went really well and the rest is out of my control. But I promise I'll do better at keeping you all posted on such matters. 

And in closing, let's just all agree, once and for all, that Spencer Malinski has mad talent. And that these backpacks are the world's coolest. Ok. Good. Now that that's settled... 

What bunch of awesome days all in a row, ya know? This quarter: so far, so good. In a big way.

NYC

Thinking a lot about New York lately. About last summer. About this coming summer. About my relationship with this place. About the idea of place. And a state of contentment. 

I can't quite fully process the idea that such a known city with an ever changing population can hold such an intense and personally specific meaning to such a large number of people. 

So, that's what I've been thinking about. And the fact that I have to start applying for internships again. Yoiks. 

Can't Deal: Laure De Sagazan

Can we just hold hands for a second, close our eyes and picture ourselves getting married in these dresses really quickly? Because I found myself on Laure De Sagazan's website the other day and I've been thinking about her beautiful creations ever since. No. Really. Ever since.

The simplicity, the detail, the lace. Like butta'. This is the stuff that wedding dress dreams are made of.  

Fear Tactics

Yesterday afternoon, I sat with Susie in our Apparel 3 class holding our bodies very still. 

We sat there and listened very carefully to the near whispered and, heavily accented words, coming out of our English born fashion professor's perfectly painted red lips. Her hair is short and straight in an almost fashion homage to the military. Her skin is fair and after years of a probably intense daily skin regime, just starting to wrinkle. Her glasses are well trained against the bridge of her nose, not daring to make a move down her nose in fear of a strident push back up to their spot. They don't move. They know their place.  

She told us about the course work load. She told us late work was never tolerated. She told the boy in the first row to stop smacking his gum. 

I sat there listening to her every word-- the way she said papier-mâché with a french accent and how she laughed along with the TA when she told us that this class was going to be fun-- and I waited to be intimidated by her demeanor, but instead, all I could think of was what her favorite ice cream flavor was. Or maybe she hates ice cream. And I thought about how she mentioned that factory production was the only way we were going to learn because it was the only way she had experience with. So, I tried to picture her as a factory worker. And I tried to picture her as a fashion student. 

And right when I was trying to figure out whether she is a cat person or not, she paused, quickly scanned the room and said 'Well, if you're done with me, then I'm done with you. I'll see you on Thursday.' packed up her folder and class was over.

I'm so pumped. 

Winter Quarter

And so it begins. Another year another quarter. Another day another dollar. Let's kick things off this year with a little History of Fashion in the A.M. and some Computer Aided Design tonight.

Let's face this head on, shall we? I'm nervous about this quarter. I am hoping hoping hoping that that seven week break I'm coming fresh out of was enough to re-charge morale and the spirit of learning in me, but I can only be sure about that after a few weeks of testing the waters.

The work load of the next 10 weeks is currently a mystery. And I hate mystery. Am I going to be pulling all nighters and living on bowls of rice because the mere thought of standing up and cooking exhausts me? Or will I be basking in the beauty of an open schedule and throwing out blasphemous sentences like "I'm bored" or something as ludicrous as "I wish I had homework"? I don't know. This remains to be seen. And I hate that.

But Savannah is beautiful this morning. And I'm eating an hot egg with toast for breakfast. And my friends are here.

2012: Le Photos

I meant to blog these a few days ago. It didn't happen. Now we're sooo far into 2013 (I mean, it's basically over by now) and I'm going to take it back to 2012-- just for this post-- to highlight some of my favorite moments all communicated through Instagram. I'm not even going to attempt to explain all these. We really would be here until 2014. It's scary how much each of these pictures means to me.But now that I think about it, in order to promote some healthy reader participation, I would be willing to answer any questions you may have about one specific picture. I mean... like... only if you want to. It's, like, totally your call. I don't really care what you do. Just kidding. You know that's not true. I care a lot. Too much. Ok, please? Please comment? You know how much it means to me. Don't make me beg. Let's chat. Go. Look. Ask. Enjoy. (PS- I am so embarrassed about the formatting issues. Guys. I can't figure out what is going wrong here. Something is weird. Whatever. I don't want to talk about.) 

two things:

1. I need to journal more. I have a lot of thoughts, ya know? 

2. I am officially in Savannah typing these very words on my computer at my desk in my room with my music playing. My thick handful of yellow mechanical pencils are relaxed in the blue can just like I left them. My room smells kind of musty and woody like an old house that holds a lot of memories. There's a dried ring of water on my desk marking the exact spot where my hand naturally places a sweaty glass of ice water. 

I can't wait to see what happens next.  

2013

Let's talk resolutions. You got any? Lose weight? Save your pennies? Get over a fear? Well, I've got some. I doubt you're very surprised. I'm kind of a fan of making goals. Now that I think about it... are goals the same as resolutions? I feel like there is a difference. I guess my resolutions are more goal-ish than resolution-y. 

On the menu for 2013: 

• Learn a language or two. I think I might start with German. 
• Get an internship that I'm proud of. 
• Become involved in a college church group.
• Write more letters. I'm talking real, honest to goodness, snail mail, baby. 
• Do more yoga. Lululemon donations welcome. 
• Reduce. Gluten. Intake.
• Reduce. Sarcasm. Output. 
• Go on a date. A real one. Any secret admirers, it's time for you to come out of hiding, got it? 
• Go to bed earlier. Wake up earlier.
• Bake more bread. Disregard previous gluten free statement. I'm over it. 
• Take more risks.
• Take more walks.
• Perfect my website.
• Be kinder. 

Ok. I think that's it. Let's see what I can pull off this year, yeah? What are you working on?

5

Way way way excited to see these five lads. Can't wait for Thursday and then Saturday. 

Life is just a lot of fun with them.