Vera

We can file this one under "Exciting Life News." Or maybe even "Landmark Life Moments"?

I've been keeping this semi-under wraps for the past few weeks (unless I've seen you in person and you've asked me any question regarding this summer in which case I totally spilled the beans and told you everything) that I was in consideration for a design internship at Vera. Freaking. Wang.  

Wait.

Let that rest for a few seconds.

Ok.

Keep going.

It's been a few weeks of back and forth emails but after interviewing yesterday afternoon with the head of their design department, I got an e-mail from Vera Wang (the company, not the lady) offering me a design internship for the summer. I blinked. And then read the e-mail again. And then I screamed. And danced a little. And laughed. And my face got hot. And I panicked that I had read the e-mail wrong. And so I read the e-mail again. And I'm pretty sure that it wasn't a typo. But they offered me a design internship. With Vera. Freaking. Wang. 


Wait.

Let that rest for a few seconds.

Ok.

Keep going.


Let's just take a moment to rewind about 15 years to a little girl who was watching Parent Trap at the movie theater and saw for the first time that there was a job that existed in the world where you got to live in London and design beautiful dresses for women with perfect teeth who felt and looked great. I remember looking up at the screen in wonderment, extremely jealous of Lindsay Lohan in her very put-together blue suit, dancing around the design studio with a gorgeous model wearing a top hat and thinking to myself that that is what I wanted to do with my life. I was sure of it.

And then I wasn't so sure of it. And then I was again. And then for a bit I wanted to bake cupcakes for the rest of my life. But then I realized that I was more of a fan of eating cupcakes. So I returned to design. And then college happened. And in case you're a little behind on your Bushka history, I wasn't so sure again. But things have happened in the past 15 years that keep pushing me in a direction that I'm always surprised at but never disappointed in. And come on! Who's to say that I'm still sure of ANYTHING in my life right now. But I know this is a good thing.

And let's be realistic here. My chances this summer coming even close to a Lindsay Lohan moment of blue suited greatness are slim (especially because the dress code at Vera is all black)(and my main responsibilities will be less about dancing fun 90's music and more about coffee orders), but I cannot wait. And maybe for the first time ever I feel ready. And confident. And steady in myself and what I have to offer. And I can't wait, I can't wait, I can't wait!!!

Eating Oreos in Bed

Today I had a second interview with Anthropologie. I didn't feel like it went well. I didn't really feel like it went badly either. The whole thing left me confused. I mean, when someone starts an interview off by asking you to tell them about yourself... Um, are you kidding me? What a question! Especially when you're asking this girl. Tell you about myself? Where do I begin? Where do I stop? 

I like pasta, but not waffles. 

My whole family lives in California, but I live in Georgia. 

One of my biggest goals right now in my entire life is for my hair to be shoulder length by summer.
I really like watching spinach wilt and I also know how to use Photoshop. 

I'm a fashion design student who isn't sure she wants to design fashions, but wants you to hire her for a fashion design internship, pretty pretty please. 

The whole interview was ten minutes. I spent two of those minutes talking about Catalina Island. Don't ask. 

When it was all over, my only response was to panic eat Oreos in bed and fall asleep with a few crumbs on my cheeks. No shame. And now, we wait for the powers that be to drop the hammer and e-mail me back. I'll keep ya posted. 

Bring it.

"Say yes and you'll figure it out later."

-Tina Fey

Frances and I set out for Foxy Loxy this morning to achieve one goal: to start and finish writing our cover letters.

I got a latte. Frances got a latte. We found a table. We opened our laptops and 3... 2... 1... Go. 

Two hours later, we proof read each other's first attempts and after a few brush-ups, we hit save and smiled at each other. Our cover letters complete. 

First with the Anthropologie interview earlier this week and then the completion of my cover letter (a major obstacle thus far in my application process) I have made the pleasant and welcomed realization that this year's internship search, although still a bit daunting, is not last year's internship search. The steps towards this summer have already proved so much less overwhelming, so much less intimidating and so much more doable. The circumstances are different. I am different. 

Last summer, when I was in the thick of it, I kept on telling myself that one day I would reap the rewards of such a challenging time. There had been little moments, like times where I could talk confidently about the restaurants in the East Village, or moments when I would be recognized in class for having an experience like the one I did, but nothing yet that I could identify as "worth it."And then today, just like that, in my lap, somewhere between a belated Christmas gift and an early, secret admirer of Valentine's day, here it is, the golden booyah moment of this last summer: A feeling that no matter what internships I do or don't get, I can handle this summer. I can do it. I can do it. I can do it. I'm even sort of smirking as I type those words in a knowing way. I feel that this upcoming summer is like I'm facing an opponent who doesn't quite realize my new found strength, like a Chipotle burrito in front of me that doesn't quite comprehend it's impending fate. I can handle it. 

NYC

Thinking a lot about New York lately. About last summer. About this coming summer. About my relationship with this place. About the idea of place. And a state of contentment. 

I can't quite fully process the idea that such a known city with an ever changing population can hold such an intense and personally specific meaning to such a large number of people. 

So, that's what I've been thinking about. And the fact that I have to start applying for internships again. Yoiks. 

Business Time

Enough of this Christmas Break squirreling around business. I've slept in and stayed up late enough times now that I feel rested and ready to head back into the thick of real life. I've talked things out. And I've lost some sleep. I've given big, real life, 10 second hugs to people that I've really missed and things are still definitely a little cloudy for me, but I put on actual clothes today, some lip gloss and a real bra. This is for real. 

I'm taking my first plunge back into productiveness today by starting to think about what this summer is going to look like. I know. This summer. It's rearing it's ugly, hot temperatured head. Already. And again. Ugh. 

The name of the game: Internship. 

Me and my computer are sitting at Alta, somewhere that even though I can't give a big, real life, 10 second hug to, is a place that I have really missed. I've got my crazy, crazy three page, single spaced list of companies that are on my radar. I've got my decaf vanilla latte and the search has begun. I kind of want to run away. Or justify the idea of taking this summer off and just "enjoying life" (which is the nice way of saying "being a total leach and wasting a bunch of time out of fear"), but one by one, I'll send out my application to companies beggginnnggg for them to love me!! Pretty, pretty please! I know you'll love me! Daunting. 

Here we go. 

PS- halfway through writing this, a coffee date started at the table behind me. She really likes him. He sort of seems creepy. And he has a lisp. Which, funny enough, isn't what makes him creepy.