- Before you status update, Tweet, Tumble or Instagram, pause and say to yourself, “is it entirely necessary that I share this morsel of thought with my entire social network?”and if the answer is not, “yes, I absolutely must,” then step away from the Internet. (Guilty. I mean, what else is social networking for than sharing unnecessary information? BUT! I have gotten better at this. Hence the blog. It's my place to purge all of my random opinions on things)
- Know which candidate you’re going to vote for in the upcoming presidential election, and know why. (I MOST DEFINITELY agree. Stop me before I let the political monster out of it's dark place in my tummy, but I will say that it is alarming to me how many people my age have no concept of any sort of going ons when it come to the upcoming election. And worse than that-- vote even when they have no concept of what they're voting for. Scary scary.)
- Enough with the 14-day juice cleanses. If you want to lose a little weight quickly, eat less and exercise like crazy. If you want to lose a lot of weight slowly, do whatever Jennifer Hudson did. (Ok. Why in the world would I want to do a juice cleanse? Answer: I wouldn't. In regards to Jennifer Hudson: Yeah. She looks amazing. Her commercials make me cry. It's whatever.)
- If you really like the person you’re hooking up with and would like them to be your boyfriend/ girlfriend, find a way to tell them, and hope for the best. If you don’t and wouldn’t, stop. (Preach.)
- Find a way to save approximately 300 dollars and spend it on a flight to see a friend or family member who lives far away. (If only it were that easy. But where would I go first? Let's see (in alphabetical order): Asheville, Austin, Berkley, Eugene, La Mirada, New York, Palm Springs, San Diego, Spokane... Any Benefactors out there want to fund this?)
- Please stop liking the Kardashians, all of them. It’s not helping anyone, least of all the Kardashians. (If like the Kardashians is wrong, I don't want to be right. I will watch them until they die, if that is their grand master plan.)
- Spend less than or equal to the money you earn each month. (Working on it. Not sure if this is easier or harder to do when you are not earning any money...)
- Wear clothes that fit you, especially to work. (So, I have to give up all of my sparkly pink tube dresses? Shoot.)
- Call someone on the phone at least once a week, and speak to him or her for at least ten minutes. (Mom, you can vouch that I'm good on this one. But other than you, I sort of suck at communication. It's not personal. I just hate talking on the phone.)
- Start preparing now to get over the fact that Facebook is probably going to change again in six months. You’re not going to deactivate your account. You don’t know how. (Call me a total dork, but I really like it when Facebook changes. It's like an unexpected challenge. Yeah. I know how that sounds. And I'm ok with it.)
- Wait 30 seconds before you look up a fact you can’t remember on your phone, and try to remember it using your brain. This is what the olden days were like. (Ok. Here's the deal with this one: We all know how much I love me some iPhone. And I will say that there is a lot of google searching going on in my life, but I do own a Dictionary (a real life one) and I have made it a Julia Rule (or a "Rulia") to always look up words in that sucker instead of online. So, bam.)
- Replace one terrible reality show you’re currently watching with one wonderful scripted show currently available on television. Swap suggestion: Real Housewives of Anywhere for HBO’s Enlightened. (I can't, won't, will never give up my Real Housewives. They are the lifeblood to my TV addiction. Not going to happen. But I will watch as many scripted shows that are recommended to me. My Tivo cup runneth over.)
- Try that food you think you don’t like but have never actually tried, unless it’s brussels sprouts. They really don’t need any more attention. (Done. And I'm sorry, but I like brussel sprouts. If you are skeptical, please invite me over and I will cook you a brussel sprout that will change everything you thought you knew about them.)
- Cut one person out of your life who you truly do not like and add one person who you truly do. Note: not on Facebook, on Earth. (This is harsh. But I get the point. ...I'm having a hard time thinking of someone to get rid of, though. If you suddenly stop hearing from me, now you know why. Wait-- that was a joke. See my answer to #9)
- If you’re still blacking out regularly, you should stop. (Yeah. No.)
- Volunteer once over the next 90 days. You’ll feel really good about it, and probably end up volunteering again over the next 275. (I'M TRYING BUT THE LADY WON'T EMAIL ME BACK!)
- Tell someone who you love that you love them on a more regular basis. To their face, not in a text. (I would, but Ryan Gosling is just out of town a lot.)
- Back up your entire online life onto an external hard drive, especially your photos.
- Crap or get off the pot. This applies to whatever thing you’re not doing that you should just sack up and do already. (But, seriously. Truer words have never been spoken.)
- And in the eternal words of Tom Haverford, “TREAT YO SELF!” (Can't argue with Tom Haverford. Ever.)
So what do you guys think? Pretty good rule book, eh? Or should I say... "Jule Book."
Jennifer Hudson was so much hotter before she lost the weight! She was glowing and sensual, and now she just looks like everyone else. Grrrrrr.
ReplyDeleteSo many responses I don't know where to start, but think they (and you) pretty much hit it on the head... for the funny ones and the true ones.
ReplyDeleteOk, so Enlightened won all kinds of awards (as did Downton Abbey... OF COURSE - We knew that was going to happen -- we don't have HBO though -- will check it out on Netflix, I guess.
oh- check out Hell on Wheels .. another love
http://www.foxnews.com/on-air/america-live/index.html?playlist_id=87651&intcmp=features#/v/1414126652001/web-barking-mad-over-dog-walking-disaster/
ReplyDeleteOMG - check this out - has nothing to do with your blog -- check out the ride (the short ride) the dog takes
ok... 1 more then I'll leave you alone, but I thought you'd be inspired by this... who knows where a simple (but informative and well presented) foam board presentation will take you!
ReplyDeleteEmma Stone
Talk about a convincing teen! When Emma Stone was 14 years old she convinced her parents to relocate to Hollywood.
"When I was 12 and wanted to be home-schooled so I could do more theater, I made a foam board presentation [for my parents] and that worked out," says Emma Stone of her persuasive ways. "So a few years later when I wanted to move to L.A., I figured, presentation time again! And it worked. I'm very grateful to Power Point.".
Read more: http://www.foxnews.com/slideshow/entertainment/2011/07/12/celebrity-secrets/?intcmp=features#slide=3#ixzz1kYoebqA4
If I am remembering correctly, a presentation on poster board with pie charts convinced someone's (Julia) father that she could get her ears pierced.....
ReplyDelete~Aunt Sue