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On the trajectory of this blog after the Bushka leaves her City

When it feels like the life chips are stacked against you and you have so many podcast episodes to catch up on, it’s time to blog.

I've wanted to talk for a while. But as just discussed with an old friend, my emotional spectrum in a typical week since roughly March of last year has left me feeling more inconsistent in thought and in practice than I've ever experienced before. It has felt like any sort of writing about my life has to be done sitting next to stop watch, playing beat the clock to the next major personal realization or mood shift or feelings about my life plan.

But today, I'm sitting up straight in a new purple sweater, this coffee shop couldn't be playing more perfect music, I've recently decided that 61 degrees is the perfect temperature and the words are finally coming.

I've spent the last few hours looking and the last few months thinking about past blog posts brushing up on-- no, studying-- the humor, the pictures, the spunky, staccato style of writing. A stream of consciousness from a girl who had most things figured out and had full confidence in the eventual a-okay-ness of things she knew she hadn't yet tackled. Ballsy as she was, the idea of posting her innermost thoughts on a blog where who knows who was reading about the self important struggle of a well liked, well loved, upper-middle class, white, fine arts student (Yowch) didn't scare her at all. Open with her anxieties, but always able to punch them in the gut with a joke about dessert or an episode of Felicity. I've thought a lot about those posts and how to find that same voice again. I've been trying to think of things to write about that would fit into the old Bushka world. That world of friends as family, long walks at night, spending $100 dollars on ingredients for paella (because paella), and four years without a door. But it hit me what a waste of time that would be. I can't replicate that voice because it's gone. And what is here is a new type of good.

In the past eight months, I could've written about my job, but I've had eight since I moved home. I could've posted pictures from my phone, but the last five pictures on my phone are of a glass of water, a bowl of soup, a screen shot of a translation of a sentence about lunch from English to Spanish, a beautiful group of sailboats (by far the best out of the bunch) and a selfie. I could've written about my boyfriend, but... oh, wait. Crap.

I can't say that the last five months of near radio silence have yielded no words to share. I think in sentences and phrasing and there have been stragglers of blog infused thoughts written down for this day that I knew would eventually come-- maybe subconsciously finding a way to document a time that I knew would be important to me even if it didn't feel like it in the moment. Self preservation on scraps of paper shoved into my purse or on a nonsensical note in my phone.

I'm going to do my best to take them from my phone and the security blanket that I've become so comfortable in, grab my proverbial can of spray paint and blast these feelings right onto the stone cold permanent wall of the internet. Here's to reopening that can of worms. Here's to writing posts that I stand behind now and cringe behind in two years! Here's to this Bushka and this City and the progression and the struggle. 

I'm back, baby. 

Long Distance Relationships

I have confession to make. I've been seeing someone. For years. And to be honest, it hasn't just been one person... I've been maintaining multiple relationships with all sort of people for a long time and keeping them all separate from each other by having all different kinds of booty calls all over the country-- keeping them at bay so they never find out about it each other. It's just who I am, I guess... a down ass shorty who keeps all kinds of honeys on the side.

Ok. I think that joke has run it's course.

But really-- I am so lucky to live in a time where moving across the country didn't require a Covered Wagon, months of travel and or the potential of Scurvy. Whether I've been in Georgia or California or Philly or New York, the most important people to me are only a phone call or a FaceTime or Skype away. I've done my best to get a screenshot of every single one of those conversations through the years and these are my favorites. I have wanted to post these pictures for so long because the folder on my computer just gets bigger and bigger and bigger as life has taken me all over the country. 

These are in no specific order and admittedly, the very first one was taken from Lindsay's phone because I loved it so much, but the rest are authentic and wonderful. Also, one more shocking catalogue of the insane amount of times I've changed my hair in the last 5 years. Homegirl needs to cool it. Another consistency being that it seems I either make these calls immediately after waking up or moments before falling asleep. Or maybe I'm saying that to justify the fact that I'm in my pajamas for 99% of these but in actuality I'm just a super crazy loner who never leaves the house. More likely. 

(ALSO PS, IF YOU CLICK THE PICTURE, IT GETS BIGGER!)

Graduate (Savannah, GA) > Family (Savannah, GA)

Claire (Somewhere between Charlotte and Savannah) > Oli, Spencer, Julia (Home Depot)

Julia (Savannah, GA) > Don and Linda (Bed, Costa Mesa, CA)

Julia (Costa Mesa, CA) > Oli's Bun (Fishers, IN)

Julia (Costa Mesa, CA) > Oli (Fishers, IN)

Julia (Savannah, GA) > King Donald (Costa Mesa, CA)

Julia (Philadelphia, PA) > Don's Gin and Tonic (Happy Hour, Costa Mesa, CA)

Julia (Philadelphia, PA) > Don's Gin and Tonic (Happy Hour, Costa Mesa, CA)

Julia (Savannah, GA) > Kaitlin and Kaytee (Seattle, WA)

Julia using computer for image, phone for audio (Savannah, GA) > Don and Linda using computer for both image and audio (Newport Beach, CA)

Julia using computer for image, phone for audio (Savannah, GA) > Don and Linda using computer for both image and audio (Newport Beach, CA)

Julia with Bangs (Newport Beach, CA) > Frances pre fly fishing trip (Dallas, TX)

Julia with Bangs (Newport Beach, CA) > Frances post Tonsil Removal (Dallas, TX)

Julia with Bangs (Newport Beach, CA) > Frances post Tonsil Removal (Dallas, TX)

Julia with Bangs (Newport Beach, CA) > Spencer (Pawley's Island, SC)

Julia (Newport Beach, CA) > Spencer (Pawley's Island, SC) > Flerm (Dallas, TX)

Julia (Newport Beach, CA) > Spencer (Pawley's Island, SC) > Frances (Dallas, TX)

Julia (Sun Room, Savannah, GA) > Kaitlin (La Mirada, CA)

Julia (Sun Room, Savannah, GA) > Breakfast (La Mirada, CA)

Julia (Savannah, GA) > Lauren, Cat (Eugene, OR)

Julia (Savannah, GA) > Kaitlin, Casey (HANGING OUT WITHOUT ME)

Julia (Newport Beach, CA) > Frances (Dallas, TX)

Julia, Spencer, Oli Pink Hair (Savannah, GA) > Don, Linda (Newport Beach, CA)

Julia, Spencer, Oli Pink Hair (Savannah, GA) > Don, Linda, Gin, Tonic (Newport Beach, CA)

Juliaboy (Savannah, GA) > Bunny, Marchetta (Mother's Day, Newport Beach, CA)

Juliaboy (Savannah, GA) > Mom (Mother's Day, Newport Beach, CA)

Julia (Dungeon, New York, NY) > Kaitlin, Linda, George Hamilton (Newport Beach, CA)

Julia (Dungeon, New York, NY) > Claire, Pocket Sized Frances (Lacoste, France)

Julia (Dungeon, New York, NY) > Susie, Claire, Frances (Lacoste, France)

Julia (Dungeon, New York, NY) > Linda, Kaitlin (Told-You-So Beach, CA)

Julia (Dungeon, New York, NY) > Slack Jaw, Claire (Lacoste, France)

Julia (Savannah, GA) > Don (uninvited) Linda, Kaitlin (Newport Beach, CA)

Julia (Savannah, GA) > Kaitlin Lips (Newport Beach, CA)

Julia (Savannah, GA) > Don's Skin Cancer (Newport Beach, CA)

Julia (Savannah, GA) > Don, Linda, Kaitlin, Chocolate Covered Banana (Newport Beach, CA)

Julia (Savannah, GA) > Kaitlin, after hospital (Somewhere in Europe)

Julia (New York, NY) > Kaitlin, Don, Linda (Newport Beach, CA)

Linda, Julia (Costa Mesa, CA) > Oli (Fishers, IN)

Julia (Savannah, GA) > Kaitlin (Seattle, WA) > Don, Linda (Costa Mesa, CA)

Julia, Spencer (Savannah, GA) > Kaitlin (Seattle, WA)

Julia (Costa Mesa, CA) > Frances, Unruly Puppy (Bathroom, Dallas, TX)

Julia (First Floor, Savannah, GA) > Frances (Fourth Floor, Savannah, GA)

Julia (Costa Mesa, CA) > Lindsay, Susie (HANGING OUT WITHOUT ME, NY)

Julia (Costa Mesa, CA) > Oli (Emotions)

Julia (Costa Mesa, CA) > Oli (Fishers, IN)

THE END FOR NOW!

Looking Forward

The end of melancholy
Ukulele lessons
Moving out of my parents house
Giving more time to others selflessly
Visiting Savannah
Seeing Grace and Ben get married
Seeing Frances and Zach get married
Seeing Sarah and Wesley get married
Creeping on other people get married (thanks, wedding hashtags)
Growing Julia Patton Dressmaker (more on this later)
Starting new work
Facing new challenges; the mental kind, the physical kind, the sewing kind, and, where would this blog be without the emotional kind?
Taking more pictures?
Going on more dates?
Let's throw a road trip in there at least once, please
Let's also throw some good parties
Visting Almanor
I want to be in New York at least once
Saving all sorts of money
Cooking more
Buying less
Blogging more
Simplifying life
Creating new

My Favorite Pictures of 2014: Part II

Graduation to New Years Eve

Ok, so I didn't handle graduating very well. 

Or saying goodbye. Looking at this picture actually kind of makes my stomach hurt. After three years, this was the last morning Frances, Oli and I lived together and four years for Spencer, Claire and me. Minutes before parents came ready to pack up rooms and disassemble furniture, we gathered in our little gray kitchen that I loved so much and with watery eyes, took this final picture together as roommates. This blog has been there for every step of our friendships and I am so grateful for that, but for the rest of my life, no amount of posts or videos or pictures will be able to explain how much these four girls mean to me. 

Saying goodbye to Savannah proved to be just as difficult. 

Mom and I driving to Philly by way of every milkshake drive through on the east coast. 

Spencer and Claire in NY.

Visitors to Philly on the 4th of July.

Summer 2014 was officially the summer of the selfie for me. With all of my instagram muses suddenly gone, looking back at photos now, it seems my coping mechanism was to take angsty photos of myself and my very blonde hair.

And then I dyed my hair back to it's natural color. Which apparently is this light shade of brown. Who knew? I'm not going to go to deep into this because it's just hair, but let's be honest, with me, it's never just hair. I'm sure I'll talk about this more later, but in the time since graduating, I've felt my life becoming more and more about simplification and realistic goals. Perhaps a bit too much, but I've been enjoying this time of overall quiet. 

The one selfie I snuck at work. (Self timer, hidden on a shelf, covered in lace) Just because Anthropologie wasn't for me, doesn't mean that I don't deserve a photo in remembrance. 

Goodbye, Upper East Side. 

Goodbye, Brooklyn. 

Goodbye, Savannah.

Hello, West of graduation. 

Jenny Lake, WY

Charlotte, NC

Wouldn't miss 1D for anything.

A quick pee in the forest after the concert. 

KP in Seattle.

One of my main persons and her small version that I'm starting to learn all about. 

2014 was the definition of change, but it's cool to know that some things stay exactly the same. 

The beginning of Julia Patton Dressmaker. 

KP and my new beanie. 

Merry Christmas from the Pattons. 

Headquarters of Julia Patton Dressmaker. 

Patton Construction. 

Goodbye, 2014. You've been one stone cold bitch of a good time. A lot of good, a lot of bad. But I'm ready for what's next. 2015 could be the best year yet.